How To Deal With Having Low Confidence(3 Things To Remember)

Having low confidence feels like having a weakness in today’s age. In this time of virality, it seems like having low confidence not only destroys opportunities for you but also screams how imperfect and problematic your life is. It’s like confidence is supposed to be a magical potion, that solves all problems of your life. Everyone wants to be confident 24/7. And why not? I mean, if you can get a raise, talk to that cute girl(or guy), or walk like Peter Parker in Spiderman 3, because of having not low confidence, then why the hell not?

 Look at that swagger! 

But, how much we want, we can’t be confident all the time. And it’s okay to have low confidence from time to time.

Here’s why:


  1. Low confidence = lack of feeling confident temporarily
  2. Confidence gets hammered in tough competition
  3. Acceptance of imperfection brings peace of mind

Low confidence = lack of feeling confident temporarily

Remember feelings? Yeah, those pesky mental bastards which disrupt every logical decision we ever make? Confidence is one of them.

It is the feeling you get when you learn something new, do something successfully, or mark yourself safe and stable in this harsh reality and it is related to every proud and comfortable moment of our lives.

Like do you know how to play the guitar? Great! You will feel confident when you try to play it. Do you play guitar in front of your friends? Excellent! You’ll feel confident when you try to play it in front of your friends. You are the main guitarist of an international band? Well, playing guitar in front of a million people is nothing for you.

But just like every other emotion, it fades. You might feel like a Rockstar when you are playing for your band, but as soon as, you face a job interview at an IT company, you might be low confidence.

Just like happiness fades away the moment you face a crisis, confidence poofs away the moment you face uncertainty. And unless you leave the comfort zone and face adversity, it’s not coming back. In the end, like every emotion, you can’t control confidence, and forcing or faking it doesn’t make it at all. Forcing on not having low confidence will make you less confident.

Tough competition creates low confidence

Let’s say, you can talk to people well. You feel immersed and confident in your communication skill. Your social circle also validates your communication skill.

But one day, you meet another person whose communication skill is twice as good as yours. You start to feel a little bit of jealousy. To add insult to your injury, the people who used to validate or complement your communication skill, seem to start to like that other guy.

Suddenly, you don’t feel that much confidence anymore. The thing which used to make you feel like a superstar now starts questioning your ability.

My point is, no matter what you do or where you go, you’ll always find someone better than you. And in front of that person, about that particular skill, you will below confident.

In a way, that is a good thing. Because if you feel low confidence about that skill, you might understand that you are not the best in the world. It might feel bad, but it will push you to grow.

Eventually, you might find that there is no best one.

Acceptance of imperfection brings peace of mind

We aren’t perfect beings. We have flaws, we have ugly sides, weaknesses, and regrets. The beautiful thing about this imperfection is, accepting that brings peace to our life.

Now, you might not be very confident. You might lack that swagger that your friend or the coolest dude in your class.

But you know what?

That’s fine. It’s fine to have low confidence in some situations, it’s fine to feel uncomfortable in a new situation, and it’s fine to fear adversity. Life is not a movie, where everything is perfectly scripted. She’s unpredictable, she’s random.

Most of the time, we have little to no control over our situations. So, why bother forcing ourselves to be confident all the time? Why bother trying to feel awesome when it feels the opposite? Shouldn’t we just accept that sometimes we suck, and we feel terrible, and it’s okay to feel that way? Mustn’t we accept our imperfections of us?

And the beauty of this acceptance is that the moment you accept that, you make peace with yourself.

  1. You start to care less about being confident all the time.
  2. You start to see confidence as real as it is. It seems not a magical portion anymore, but a feeling that fades away, so who cares about how to be confident all the time?  

And weirdly, that’s how you become more and more confident with yourself over time.

So, the bottom line is, that you don’t have to be confident all the time. Remember, if it is not coming naturally, then forcing it won’t help. So, take a deep breath and just do what you need to do.

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